A Mood

December 5, 2006

I’ve been in a mood today.  I don’t know what to call it, really.  A day where everything is art.  A birds nest in a dry tree under the blue sky while my breath curled into sinuous clouds  –  that kind of thing.  Bad poetry day.

For some reason with the mood comes 2 things.

1.  Inability to sleep when it’s time to sleep.

2.  Feeling like I’m forgetting something all the time.

I don’t know why I get these moods.  I think it’s the first time that I’ve noticed that it was an all-day thing rather than just an evening thing as I had previously suspected.  All day I’ve been feeling like taking a walk, going for a drive, looking at art, being some place I’m not.

I’ve finished a lot of books recently – Dune, Foundation, 3 Days To Never, Hoot… and a couple others.   I think I may have been trying to distract myself from something or tricking myself into something but I don’t know what or what.   So I’m reluctant to start another book – another distraction.

I keep thinking “There’s got to be something better (think: more important) that I could be doing.” but nothing comes to mind.  Maybe I’m still adjusting to the lifestyle of marriage and school.

Maybe it’s that ever-present stress I’ve noticed I write an awful lot about manifesting itself as feelings of discomfort.  That seems both likely and psychologicalish.

A connecting thread in my feelings and thoughts is that I need to experience more and more satisfying personal and spiritual growth.  Whether this is a cause or a symptom I have no idea.

I had crazy dreams of sandworms last night.

I think that whoever reads these things, these entries, is going to see a pretty distorted view of who I am.  It seems like half of the time when I write an online entry it’s because I’m in one of these moods or that I’m being melancholy or something.

Well, I’ll just finish then.



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