November 2, 2006

Today I am having my first big anxiety since returning from Taiwan.  It came as I worked on my schedule for next semester.  Specifically the part where I signed up for a statistics class.

First of all, I hate math.  I put up so many mental blocks and have so many negative feelings about it that I just do myself in horribly.  I’m really nervous about the upcoming math classes in my life.  I’m mostly nervous because I don’t know how I’m going to accomplish my life goals if I don’t get 3 math classes done.

This registration stress led to another stress.  Kayeleen pointed out to me that it’s not just 16 credits of language needed to graduate, but 16 credits of the same language.  SUU doesn’t offer Chinese courses.    And, because I didn’t do outstandingly well on the test I recently took on Chinese, I have reason to believe my BYU transfer credits will not be for the full 16 credit hours.  Meaning I have to find a way to get more Chinese credits, stay in school a lot longer than planned to get 16 spanish, french, or german credits, or take 16 Math credits aside from the ones I’m already taking (probably.  They might let me count the ones I have to take anyway.)

Either way, I’m stressed out like crazy.

I also need to talk to my department chair about if I can count a class in my minor as a class towards my major as well or not.    I also need to talk to the people in the business department about getting permission to take upper level courses to prepare for the graduate program.  I need to actually meet with an academic adviser who knows what the requirements for graduation are.

So that’s stressing me too.

Another stress is the ever-nearing baby expenses and the fact that Kayeleen will not be able to work soon.  I feel confident that I’ll be able to support us while going to school – I just don’t know what I’ll be doing to pull it off.  The pressure to find a good internship is increasing, but I have to balance that with the possibility of better wages at different jobs.

And the last thing is that I seem to consistently turn in homework late this week.  Which puts me behind, which keeps me from turning in the next day’s homework on time…

So now I’m up later than I have been in weeks.  My body is tired, but my stupid mind won’t shut up.

I feel like everything is going to be fine.  I just can’t get my brain to agree with that feeling.



One Response to “Anxiety”

  1. anah Says:

    Of the three language choices, Spanish is the easiest. French has too many extra letters for the sounds (beaucoup is pronounced bo-coo), though it is the prettiest, and in German you have to memorize (as there is no rational method) which words are preceded by das, der, etc. Spanish also has its idiosyncracies (the masculine and feminine found in latin languages) but seems to be, from my experience with all three, the easiest.

    I sympathise with your scholactic stress. Sorry. Pete (er..Joseph) will have the same trouble when he returns from Afghanistan. He’s already worried about how to support us while he goes to school. It would be a big relief if I actually worked on learning to write copy so that I could support us from home (while watching Jack, making sure the homefront runs smoothly, and possibly being pregnant[Joes wants another, but it won’t happen until he’s home to practice getting pregnant :-)] etc.) while he goes to school to finish his degree. Which he is thinking about changing. We’ll either be staying in Boise (BSU) or go to Rexburg for BYU-I. Depends mainly on where the cost of living and school is cheapest. If you guys moved to Rexburg Joes would be more likely to move there, too. Ha Ha. Long shot. But I thought I’d try.

    Hey, Congrats on your baby. when is it due? Do you know gender? Do you have names? Do you need baby stuff? I am excited for you both. You must post pictures.

    Did you get a grill for (or since) your wedding? I remember saying that if no one got one for you I’d get you one. Probably a little one.

    Gots to go to bed now. It’s almost 10. (I’m training myself to not stay up all night. It’s good so far, but it’s the first night.)

    Buenas Noches
    Bon Soir
    Gut Nacht (sp?)

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