The who, who is me.

October 12, 2006

the anthillyet again.  I know. I know.  But it’s not in a bad way, just in a curious way.) thinking about the future.

I had wanted to be a business major once.  Like when I was a freshman.  But, after taking a few classes, I decided that I would not like to be a business major.  My decision at the time was based mostly on the type of person I saw in the department.  I decided I didn’t want to be in a line of work where I had to associate constantly with that “personality.”

More recently I have been able to realize that it wasn’t that I disliked the personality type, I just didn’t understand it.  And because I couldn’t understand it I mistrusted it.  To this day I still don’t comprehend that strange and mysterious “managerial” personality.  It always seemed so over-positive and over-optimistic and over-energetic and so on.  I interpreted it as insincere.  I still do, to this day.

Yet I find myself contemplating a future that will put me exactly where that sort of personality thrives and finds great success.  This leads me to two possible outcomes.  1. I will learn to understand, respect, and embrace this sort of personality and these traits to the point of changing myself or 2. I will operate without ever becoming this kind of person.  But could I learn to trust these people?

Lately I have been feeling unsure of myself.  I worry that I’m unlikely to get any of the kind of career or lifestyle I would like just because I’ll be detected at the door.  Just like nerds can detect jocks through walls, the manager can spot the philosophers long before the interview.

Well, we will find out sooner or later.



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